Sunday, October 2, 2011

The birth of our baby

I knew I should have done this a while ago. I know how awful my memory is. Its sad that my memory is bad enough that I may not remember all the details of my own daughter's birth but that is my life.
ps this is going to be as detailed as possible so if you don't want to read it. stop now :)

Well the end of my pregnancy was so stressful. Daniel had moved to St. George early to start work (yes it was necessary, there was a family emergency down there as well and he lost his job so he went to get our home ready and start a new job and get it going so we could soon have benefits and money when we got there)
I was very pregnant and very done- my body does not handle pregnancies very well and I had been sick for 35 weeks of it! I was trying to pack up my house for our move. When we planeed our move we knew it would be during the end of my pregnancy (for packing) and the actual move right after she was born. When we planned that we had also planned Daniel being there to help. So I was very pregnant, sick and miserable and I was also teaching preschool and running an in home day care. I was babysitting these kids 11.5 hours a day which is better than the 13 it used to be. sigh. Looking back, I was an idiot. I loved those kids but it wasn't a good idea to do it that many hours for 5 days a week. ANYWAY so at about 36 weeks I was dilated to a 2.5 or was it 3+? I can't remember and the Dr didn't want me to go into labor yet so I was put on bed rest to keep her in there. I went back to the hospital.. 2 or 3 times to get checked because once I felt I was in serious back labor like with Leighton. False alarm, still can't explain the pain I was going through. Every time I got checked I was a 3 then a 4 and having very inconsistant contractions. they would be intense and every 5 mins then after an hour would stop. (With my other 2 kids I never ever had regular contractions. At all. Even as I was about to have the baby. My mom was the same way with all 4 of us kids) So I never knew what to do. Daniel kept racing up from St. George thinking I was in labor and after false alarms would have to go back and just wait. His work would allow one week off IF I had the baby and we couldn't afford for him to just sit in Salt lake if we weren't having this baby. So Sunday May 15th rolls around and I am not having contractions. My eyes however were extremely blurry and my heart was pounding and I was dizzy so I went BACK to labor and delivery to have them check my blood pressure. Which was normal. Ok well I obviously wasn't ok. I started bawling about how Daniel had to leave the next day to get back to work. I didn't know when this baby was coming, I felt awful, I couldn't see, I was on high anxiety. I was at a 4 STILL with irregular contractions. I was an emotional wreck. My dr. had scheduled an induction for about a week from then but kept swearing this baby would be here sooner. Um.. no she wasn't. She wanted to party in there and that was ok. I wanted her to be fully developed and healthy but I was so stressed. Well the sweet nurse comes in and says "ok, I called your OB and he said you can stay." what?! yes! They were going to induce me and Daniel didn't have to go home and we could have our baby and have all our family plan to come meet her!! Well as usual I had no regular contractions. They started me on my anti biotics for group B strep and said after all 3 bags they would come induce me. Well after 1 bag, my water broke and the contractions were intense!! No need to induce me, the baby wanted to come anyway!! I wanted an epidural so bad as I am a major wuss and wanted to feel no pain. the lady was doing my epidural and everything she said I shouldn't feel I did! OW what the heck was happening?? I never ever felt this with my last 2 epidurals! She kept like wiggling the needle or whatever it was around so much that Daniel felt ill and was white as a ghost and had to sit down. Wait, he was supposed to be holding my hand! I was in pain, this lady was screwing up my epidural and it made Dan sick (it never did that with my other ones) with her ramming this needle in all directions. Mumbling something about how she must have hit a nerve. That pain was almost as bad as my contractions. She kept putting in "test medicine" saying I shouldn't feel it going in. I did. It sucked, so bad. As I waited for my epidural to kick in they checked me and I was ready to push. Not only was my contractions not regular despite their intensity they (the staff) were shocked it was time. They were monitoring me and according to their machines I had plenty of time. Anyway so I am freaking out and kept saying my epidural isn't working yet, we have to wait! Please help me. The anesthesiologist looks at me and says she would re do the whole thing butI was out of time. Then she walks out of the room. Apparently after or during HITTING MY NERVE she had done the epidural too low so all the "test medicine" was in my lower legs and feet. She kept pumping it in so I could get my belly and below numb; when I wasn't getting numb she kept pumping in drugs that only made my calves and feet numb. Worst feeling ever. So I could feel everything. (except in my feet of course) and it was time to get the baby here. I only pushed a few times but I remember just panicking saying I am not numb! I can not do this! Maybe if I had planned for a natural birth it would have been easier. But I do not plan natural births. I like my freaking epidural and I like no pain and no stress. The pain was outrageous and I was so miserable and couldn't get my dumb numb feet to stay up. I kept saying I can't do this and the nurse said you have to, no one else can do it for you. They were kind and supportive but firm in the way of letting me know I HAD to push this baby out. So like I said only a few pushes luckily and she was here! My biggest baby yet at 7 lbs 13 oz From the time my water broke to the time she was born was about 2 hours. I have quick babies! She was 13 days early and she come all on her own! Looking back now I see how stressed I had been leading up to her birth and what I could and should have done differently. I am glad I went to the hospital that day to get my blood pressure checked which turned out to be fine. There was obviously a reason we were supposed to be there at that time. If my water had broke at home and not having regular contractions, I may have had my baby at home on the couch! yikes! I still would never choose a natural birth and pray that lady who gave me my meds just made a one time mistake and doesn't do that often. I still to this day 4.5 months later get shooting pains in my spine in the "epidural" site. I am glad in the end that I had a healthy baby, quick birth and an amazing recovery! I am glad Daniel was there. I am glad he got to stay for a week and glad this birth was nothing like Leighton's! I know lots of women have had natural births and should be commended, I personally will never join that awesome group of women who do it and love it and grow from it. If we have another baby, I assure you I will think happy epidural thoughts :)

Man I sure my love my sweet Ashlyn! As much as I whined about her birth, she is an incredible baby and I am grateful she is part of our family! I can not wait to watch her grow and the best start to my morning is her waking me up by her jabbering. Sweet, sweet child she is. I am very blessed.

these are all out of order and I don't want to fix it :)









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