I got a call from the dr office yesterday: my blood work all came back normal! That's awesome! Now I know baby (and me) isn't lacking any nutrition, anything vital to its growth or health and my electrolytes look fine. what a relief. Now we just need to figure out what the problem is. I was told I need to go see an ENT (ear, nose and throat dr) and get my ears checked. I figure while I am there I will have him look in my throat and get an idea why in 19 months my voice hasn't returned. I sound almost daily like I am sick. Anyway hopefully I will get some answers as to why I get so dizzy. We are hoping something is just wrong with my ears (pretty sure then it would be an easy solution!)

I was reading past posts and I realized I sound snotty. Angry. Whiny and rude. Made me sad. I really am not a 24/7 ornery person although it sure seems this way. Pregnancy really, really takes a toll on me. I struggle with numerous things during pregnancy and I know that I will going into it; but man, look what I get from it!! I see my kids and would do it all over again to get a beautiful angel baby :) So even though I have a lot of physical issues I am seeing that I need to not let it get to me mentally. I need a better, positive attitude. I AM happy. I AM nice. I am fun and friendly and kind. I just choose to write the negative aspects of my days. I am human, so occasional grumpiness is ok right?

I am behind on pictures and fun, and vacations, and play and all the things we have been up to. Going to play catch up tonight! :)

just an idea

I think I am going to make a separate blog for this pregnancy. That way I can keep better details, pics and anything personal about it when I want without driving anyone crazy. Well I guess if it drove people crazy they could just stop reading huh? :)

but I think it will be good for me to keep it separate from the family blog so it can be a better journal type thing to get out what and when I want but be able to find it later down the road instead of roaming through a ton of other posts with family stuff.

not sure what I would call it and it most certainly wont be fancy but I am excited. yay!

SO I have been thinking about my life. Where I used to be, where I am now. What kind of person I am and who/what/where I want to be.

I sometimes think I don't deserve things I have or my beautiful kids, but it's not my decision at what I "deserve." despite what I think most days, I am a good person and I am a good mama and I love looking at how far I have come. I found 2 pics just now one is of Leighton's blessing day and the other is the day I had Leighton and the pic is with both my girls. I am blessed and need to focus more on THAT than what I am not doing right. Like in my last post I talked about being grateful. I am always grateful!

Let's be grateful

I am mean and grumpy. These hormones are kicking my butt and with me STILL being sick (yes still throwing up from time to time, ugh!) and not having time to take make my house look fabulous and this and this and that I feel I complain way more than I thank. I nag more than I appreciate. Not nice. Not cool. With this special holiday approaching I see a lot of people taking the time to say each day what they are thankful for. I did it I think twice. Not that I am not thankful for things, because I truly am; I just don't remember to post daily on facebook.

I am a primary teacher. I teach the sunbeams. I have 16 kids on my roll but usually get 10-11 at the most each week (rarely less than 8-9.) In Primary each week someone gives a "reverent thought" and as much as I usually would like to listen to these I am usually hushing the busy talkers or telling them to sit or whatever else. One day though I got lucky and heard a reverence thought and I LOVED it! To help her sleep at night she(the woman who told the story) would go through the alphabet and with each letter she would say something she was grateful for. cool idea huh? The day I heard that I smiled because the night before I fell asleep naming off things I was thankful for. Her idea sounds funner though.

I think I will try that tonight. I was going to write out the things I am grateful for but I need to get my housework done now while the kids sleep or I won't. That way I can be thankful for my clean home :)

What I will say though is to be patient. Be kind. Things I work on daily I ask of anyone who may read this. Be grateful and positive. Do the best you can anyway. I feel often I am not good enough at most things and that attitude is only going to bring me down. Love those around you and tell them so. Cherish the people you have in your lives.

I read a neat Marriage talk my brother saved me off his mission that gave me some good tips and I will tell you a part of it in my own words as I don't remember exactly: There was a woman whose husband never would empty the sink trap after doing dishes and it drove her INSANE. She would nag at him and nag at him to just empty the trap after. then one day she realized: he just DID the dishes AGAIN. cool now all she has to do is empty the sink trap. :)

I really like that story and need to remember it more often.

Anyway those were some of my random thoughts. Now I really have to go get my house picked up. :)

**I am grateful I have a house!! :)

update

Went to the dr today. Heard a heartbeat!!! WHEW what a relief! Baby is ok!

Told him about my dizziness and numbness in my belly.... yeah he doesn't like that at all :( He had them do a rush order on my blood work to hopefully get a clue what is happening to me. He also wants to see me in 2 weeks instead of the usual 4. He needs to make sure baby is still ok. He will call me within 2 days with my blood results. Hoping we get an answer! Also have not gained a single pound so far. Dr wasn't concerned. He was way more worried about my other issues. Guess now that I am getting sick less and less ( I hope!!) I better start feeding my face!! gonna plump this baby up!! :) Also apparently I can't count... we don't find out the sex of the baby the week of Christmas, well we can but I can technically find out the week before Christmas! Thanks to Sheena's idea we are going to go to fetal fotos the week before Christmas and have them find out the sex and not tell us. We as a family will look at the pics and video of the baby and find out all together for Christmas!! Except we will be finding out Christmas Eve. So fun!

On to non pregnancy news......

oh I guess I have nothing.

yay it's almost Christmas!! Suppose I should get shopping eh?

I seriously, seriously procrastinate. I also have zero time to shop and when I have time, like now I don't have a vehicle. ooh I love online shopping maybe I should do it all that way. Stay in my nice warm house.

I am hungry

I am sleepy

is 550 pm too early to go to bed?? It is when you have a 1 and 3 year old. Why don't they want to go to bed early?

I am in a random mood. Here are some random pictures:

My parent's 3 grandbabies. Leighton, Xander and Ireland

family pic in Moab (OH! I never did my last Moab post, sigh)

me and my mum

Me, my mom, my sister

I am having a hard time right now. I have been getting dizzy daily since my last OB appt. almost 5 weeks ago. Not a big deal but now it is getting worse. It used to be random and now since yesterday it is almost 24 hours a day. Just kidding I don't know if I am dizzy when I sleep :) nothing helps though. keeping hydrated, getting up slowly, I am not doing any spinning or anything crazy. I can just stand there and feel like I will fall over. Like I said only got this bad yesterday So I had a feeling to call my dr. today. Please don't think I am neglecting me or this baby. In reality my insurance has yet to go through (LONG story!) so I have not been able to schedule my 12 week appt. yet ( I am 13 weeks tomorrow) Yes my baby's health is important but I never had a concern for the baby until today. I never had a doubt there was a reason to race into the dr until today. I also started getting a weird numb sensation in the left side of my belly. Feels like your mouth feels after the dentist- tingly and numb. I also told the nurse that today. She said that is not normal. Nor is the extreme never ending dizziness. The dr isn't there today and next week is booked but the nurse is concerned and wants me in on Monday. yay! She says if anything gets worse go to the ER. Heaven help me, I can't afford another trip to the ER. But if I have to I most certainly will go!! I promise that. SO Monday I can finally hear the heartbeat!! So far I have only seen the heartbeat in an ultra sound 5 weeks ago. I am praying with all my heart there is a heartbeat. Any momma will tell you hearing the heartbeat for the first time is not only beautiful but gives you peace of mind- phew my baby is still there and ok!! So since I was only supposed to see the dr this week I will not be real behind when I see him. I am just concerned what my body is going through. I mean dizziness is normal.... to an extent... so why is it NOT going away and getting worse?? :( :( anyone wanna pray for me and little baby Romney?? thanks!! I will keep this updated when I find out anything!!

sigh

It's November. It's cold. Me+ cold+snow= bleh! I am such a baby. I love me some warm sunny SUMMER!! I am already daydreaming my life away about warmth, sun, swimming, sand, sun, sun and more sun. As I have mentioned before we are going to Hawaii in March. We were going to go in October- but when we were planning this months ago we knew I would probably still be sick and exhausted. So we figured when would be a good time to go... not within all the holidays. So we decided right after tax returns. I will still be good to fly and it will still be cooler here... perfect time to go. I got advice from friends but Daniel and I decided against all the good advice and thoughts and have chosen to bring the kids with us! We wouldn't want to be away from them for 9 (or more) days! Plus we would never want them to miss out on such an opportunity!! Our next huge vacation wont be for a few more years when we go to the Philippines which is where Daniel served his mission. I know we will have to plan around naps and kid's schedules. but who cares... we will be in Hawaii!!! So until then I will just keep my head up, keep my head warm and brave this quickly approaching Winter. :( but Winter does equal Thanksgiving and Christmas, snowmen, snow angels, hot chocolate, warm fuzzy socks, family get togethers and for that I am grateful, happy, peaceful and optimistic that it won't be so bad. :)

Makes me wonder

here is my gripe for the day:

So as I said a couple posts ago I have gone through 2 and a half prescriptions of Zofran for my nausea. (the first one that was half way full was actually left over from my pregnancy to Leighton. Yes they were expired. sue me. I was desperate) So I haven't quite got my insurance figured out yet. Lame I know, I am working on it.

Since I didn't have insurance, Walmart (uggggh) charged me $70 for EACH time I got Zofran. For GENERIC! well I hit ten weeks and I stopped getting sick. hooray! Good thing, I ran out of meds and didn't have money to refill. After I went to the Emergency Room couple weeks ago they gave me a prescription for under the tongue Zofran. what is this beautiful, magical medicine no one has told me about before?? This would have saved me so many pills that I threw up each time I took one. ANYWAY I started getting morning sickness back and needed meds. I called pharmacies for a price to get these 10 magical dissolving pills and I started calling ANYWHERE but Walmart. Rite Aid tells me for generic, ten whole pills it is 110 bucks. uh no. I call Smiths 23 bucks, getting better! I call Costco..... $11. BLESS YOU COSTCO!!!!

So Dan goes to pick up my meds and when the pharmacist tells Dan the total, Dan says "you know Walmart charges almost $80 bucks for these" the man sticks out his hand and says "welcome to Costco"

can you believe it?!

makes me wonder who else is getting ripped off on out of pocket prescriptions...

that's it for now. Just dissolved one under my tongue and have hope now for the rest of this morning sickness.... which should really be called random, any time of day sickness that can last hours. :) just sayin

So I just realized we find out the sex of the baby the week of Christmas!! How fun is that?? I will not be disappointed if it is a girl I promise that, but I have my heart set on a boy. I think it's time. We have a name picked out for a boy. I have many names for a girl but Dan doesn't want to hear them until we find out it's a girl. He has his mind made up it is a boy. Oh how I love girls though. I am having a hard time not knowing what this lil nugget is and not able to SHOP!! there are so many cute outfits for both. sigh. no matter what... I am happy to just have a baby... boy OR girl!!

Leighton is doing really well with her glasses even though they are a tad too big. They are the smallest anyone makes. They slip down a lot but I know for a fact they are helping. Sweet baby girl she is.

Ireland is doing really well. I will gladly tell you more about that when I finally finish the post I have been working on for her. I really should get on that. I think (and hope) it gives everyone a better understanding of her, why she is the way she is and why I act the way I do with her)

She needs to get into a preschool. Yes I teach preschool and yes I love teaching her but I think she needs to get it from other people and be around different kinds of kids and different atmosphere than just at home you know?

I finally got all my pics uploaded to my laptop so be prepared to be bombarded by photos!!

Ireland has ALWAYS had an obsession with shoes (same with her sister) but Ireland takes it waaaay past real shoes some times. LOL oh my goodness check this out! yes those are play dishes. ouch

one child is tired and WANTS a nap and one child is tired and DOESN'T want a nap. I will let you decide which is which:

karaoke at Grammie's house in the play room

this is when I was about 8 weeks along. Seems how I didn't have a flat tummy to begin with I am not completely sure what all is baby :) I do know you show faster with each kid though and I do know some of that is in fact baby :)

Leighton can't just eat food normally. She likes to use just her mouth sometimes. it's cute

painting one of her pumpkins

Leighton before glasses. look at all the bumps and bruises. I am happy to say since the glasses she hasn't run into ANYTHING!!

ready for dance

the things that entertain kids

more dance

this is a sincere, natural shot. its blurry as I was trying to hide and be sneaky. I love how they are best friends

another natural shot. they love their reflections in the oven door and they love being fairy princesses. Who wouldn't ? :)

hooray!

So a lot of people have wanted me to keep them updated on my (and daniel, my sister and cousins) progress with our 12 week Body For life Fitness Program. We all have different goals. You can read the post about that here . Anyway I will now tell how I have done. I got to week 2 and I had to slooooow down; because I kinda sorta got pregnant!! Insert 2.5 bottles of Zofran and a couple Phenergan (nausea meds) a trip to the ER with 2 bags of fluid to hydrate me, feeling like I took a sleeping pill daily for weeks. 5 weeks of daily puking, every smell makes me ill, seeing a heart beat in an ultrasound, having Ireland kiss my belly, giving daily thanks for this beautiful growing child in my belly, still working out when I can, being excited, exhausted, hormonal, anxious, etc. Man I love getting to talk about it instead of keeping it a secret!!

why does my font sizes keep changing? ha ha anyway it's driving me crazy.

SO here are answers to possible questions:

*due date: May 28th but the way I have kids it will be earlier.

*I am 10 weeks

*Yes it was 100% planned

*we have been planning since Lei was way tiny that we would try in NOV then we changed it to OCT then Daniel asked what's one more month? ha ha so we tried early and there you have it!

*yes we know they will be close in age; 23 months actually. It WAS planned that way. YES we know that's close. we love it!! We wanted Ireland and Leighton to be 18 months apart but we got shy of 21 months. it's not always our choice. It was ok and we are happy.

* if one more persons response to my pregnancy as: "again?!" I will take you off my friends list. not kidding. If you can't have a good response that is sincere and kind then please keep it to yourself k? thanks!

* we will find out what the baby is at 17 weeks through fetal fotos as a family. Then we will go in the next week to my dr and have the ultrasound to find how the baby is doing and growing. we never had good experiences with the finding out the sex through my dr's office ( I don't care for the lady that does it there otherwise I love the place)

* hooray!