This post is for MATURE readers only please. Sorry kiddos
I need to do this post for me, for my kids and for my family. I have had many people ask me about breast feeding and lack of. So here ya go.....
Ask Daniel and my sister, there were times I would nurse her every 30 minutes. She was three months old when I took her to the pediatrician for a random weight check she had gained a measly 7 oz in over a month. The dr didn't like that but said do not quit breast feeding. I told him she seems like she is starving and I never even went up a bra size! He said keep breastfeeding.
After talking with many friends and family Daniel and I made the choice to give her formula. She plumped up very nicely! very fast. I never thought she was too small until I look back at picks and see how small she was. :( I failed at breast feeding. I was DEVASTATED. What kind of person can't breast feed? Her ped would be so upset. Will everyone judge me? It took quite some time for Daniel to assure me I DID NOTHING WRONG. It was NOT my fault. No one was mad. There is nothing wrong with formula. Then why does everyone make this HUUUUGE deal that breast feeding is so much better?? It didn't matter. There is nothing in this entire world wrong with formula!
When Ireland was about 4 months old, I took her into walmart and some lady came up and was asking about her and asked if I breastfed. I told her no I couldn't I didn't make enough milk. She looked me in disgust and made this noise of not approving. (first of all, who the heck did she think she was?! How was that ANY of her business and not sure why I even responded to her, but who in their right mind thinks it is ok, to make me feel bad for something I could not control Even if I could, how was it her business? NO ONE has the right to judge. NO ONE)
So that made me feel bad in itself but then there was always the random person (yes even family and friends) who would make comments and make me feel bad. You know there are PLENTY of formula fed children and they are beautiful, healthy, smart and nothing in this whole world wrong with them!
wow this wasn't the point of this sorry... just gets me heated :)
ANYWAY from 3 months on, Ireland had formula (and guess what she is just fine!!!)
SO I get pregnant with Leighton and I had the desire to breast feed her. I read about it, I prayed about it, I prepared myself the best I could. Then as I got close to having her, I went to get measured for a new nursing bra. Not only was it NOT bigger like I thought it should be for about to have a baby... it was smaller? uh oh.
So Leighton is born and had horrible jaundice. They gave us an option to give her formula to help things along. I had a very strong feeling I needed to, Daniel did too. So we gave our 1 day old baby formula ( I swore I wouldn't just to make sure I would make enough milk if she was strictly breast fed.) but things are sometimes out of our hands and we do what we need to help our kids. Well guess what?? Even after we got home and the jaundice was gone, I still never got the milk I needed for her. She would still need a bottle after each nursing just to keep her full. She ALSO had allergies to milk and I was accidently making her sick when I would eat something with milk. I wouldn't give up and I changed every single thing I ate to protect her.
Finally it got to the point where she acted starving after I nursed her 40 minutes. So I gave her formula then I got a hold of nice pump and would pump for 20 minutes every 2 hours and would get after 2 whole days LESS THAN 2 oz TOTAL!! I went through the whole "what am I doing wrong? Why can't I make milk??" I took a breastfeeding class with BOTH girls, I called and counseled with many breastfeeding consultants, with pediatricians, with my dr. and guess what? My body just didn't make the milk I need. :( super big bummer. But it wasn't my fault.
Leighton is 7 months old and I STILL get comments about breastfeeding, I still get looks and disapproving comments and noises when I say "no I do not breastfeed her."
What in the world?!
WHO CARES?!?! ok, I do and did, but it was out of my control. not my choice. Leighton is formula fed and guess what she is just fine!!! :)
5 comments:
I feel or felt your pain.. I was super sad when I couldn't breastfeed Ava but I am hoping I can with this one.. If not then like you said it is out of your control and it is none of people's buisness anyway.
Ugh, that is so ridiculous! People really do need to mind their own business! As long as the child is healthy and growing that is all that matters! You are not a failure by any means and I cannot tell you why it didn't work out, but the important thing is that you gave it your all... that makes you a great mother. You just have to try to not let people judge you for something that is so petty... or come up with a good comeback!
I am in the same boat as you. I couldn't make enough either. It is bad enough that we beat ourselves up more than anyone else will, but to add other nosy people and raging hormones don't help. I still get so mad when I here peoples comments about breast feeding. Back off people!
This is such a hot button for me. I've always been someone who has had a very laid back attitude about breastfeeding. Now that might change when I actually do have kids, but I've always known that I would probably try it, but I am not going to be in pain for three months, cry for hours, etc., when I know that formula is NOT BAD for kids! Yes, breastmilk is BETTER, but forumla is not bad.
And I've had friends with experiences like yours. The judgemental comments.
You should read this post by my friend: http://regardingannie.wordpress.com/2010/01/15/studio-5-and-breastfeeding/
I summed up my thoughts in the comments.
That irritates me when people are like that!! UGH! The point is that hey, the kid is getting fed and is healthy.
I remember when Maddie was a baby I always felt like I had to be on guard anytime I pulled out a bottle in public.
People seriously need to not be judgemental when they don't know all the facts!!
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